To cut or not to cut an ex from your life after a breakup, that is the question...It can be tempting to remain close to the person whose life was so intertwined with yours, but jumping into a friendship with an ex muddles those often very confusing emotions following a breakup...I'm not saying one can never be friends with an ex. Depending on how serious the relationship was to begin with, or how easy the breakup was, it's possible to immediately and seamlessly move into a friendship.

Additionally, even serious relationships that end with a lot of emotional fanfare can eventually create enough distance to be close again. I've never experienced the latter myself, but then, I never really saw the point in rekindling a friendship with anyone who valued a day of golf over everything else. Perspective is usually a better friend than any ex can be.

i can definitely relate to this article and have pondered this idea many times before. definitely an interesting perpective.

then again, that would be assuming i'm going on a lot of dates.

so last night i went to get after work drinks with some friends of mine who work in pr. one of them invited us to some mixer-type-thing with a bunch of film publicists, etc. i'm always up for meeting new people, so it sounded like fun. not to mention that i'd get to hang out with the friends that i hadn't seen in forever.

i ended up talking to this one guy in particular. very adorable and nice. he's from ohio, so let's just call him that for the sake of the story. we talked, we laughed, actually had stuff in common. found out he was moving to my old neighborhood. talked about w.anderson movies and 'grindhouse'. he buys me and my friend a drink. all's going well, right?

wrong.

when we were talking about his upcoming move, i asked Ohio he had a roommate.

him: 'yeah. i live with my, girlfriend.'

BURN.

but i didn't want to do the mad dash because i didn't want to be blatantly obvious at how disappointed i was that he wasn't single. we ended up talking most of the night (when i wasn't with my friends). we were the last of our "group" to leave the bar a little after midnight. he asked if we should exchange numbers, but knowing very well that i know i wouldn't call or text, i suggested we exchange e-mails instead. so he gave me his e-mail address and i told him i'd send him a message in the morning.

and like the dummy i am, i did. not that it's a bad thing, but he had a gf. what could possibly come of this? i have a hard enough time scheduling social time with my friends as it is.

so here's how my e-mail to him went:
From: Me
Sent: Wednesday, April 11, 2007 11:08 AM
To: Ohio
Subject: Nice to meet you last night

Hey _____,
Just wanted to write to you (because I told you I would!) and thank you for the drink you bought for me. It was really nice to meet you and ____. Maybe we will hang out again. Until then, we can exchange opinions on Wes Anderson movies and 'Grindhouse'.
-Me

THEN, his reply:
From: Ohio
Sent: Wednesday, April 11, 2007 11:29 AM
To: Me
Subject: RE: Nice to meet you last night

Hey ____,

Nice to meet you as well! I definitely hadn’t planned on staying out as late as we did and am feeling it a bit this morning! ;o)

Did you make it to the deli on your way home?

the whole deli thing. neither of us had eaten dinner. and i'd had 2 jameson on the rocks and 2 beers at this point. so i planned on getting a bite at the deli on the way home. but what is that adorable little smiley face emoticon? with a winky eye? wtf? ahhhhhhhhh.

alas, it is what it is. Ohio has a gf, and i'm left with just another guy friend that i'll probablly only correspond with via e-mail.